10 Reasons Why I Hate Spongebob Squarepants


When I say “hate”, I actually use that word very purposefully and in all its fullness.

I hate Spongebob Squarepants.

If I could make Spongebob disappear from the earth I would. He, and all his under the sea friends, drive me insane. There are research studies, like legit university professors, that have investigated the destructive non-sense that is the yellow square sponge.

Here are my reasons:
(This list is not all-inclusive and should you feel so inclined, please add some of your own thoughts in the comments section.)

  1. He is LOUD. Like always. There is no “inside voice” or conversational tone ever.
  2. He talks through his nose. This is like “nails to a chalkboard” for me. This goes for both SB’s talking voice as well as his laugh. (Reasons 1 & 2 are actually enough for me but if you need other reasons I will continue on with my list.)
  3. He, like another severely disliked character Caillou, can not solve any problem on his own without whining or acting like the world is ending.
  4. The show adds nothing productive or educational to life. No really. I mean some people, I suppose, find it “funny” but when have you ever heard anyone say “oh my kid learned that from Spongebob (or any other SB character.)”
  5. The humor, if you should define it as such, is usually about the making fun of the idiocy of one of the characters.
  6. How old is Spongebob anyway??? He is getting a boating license, yet lives on his own. He goes to school but also works full time at the Crabby Patty. I realize that most cartoon characters do not age, well except Dora apparently, but Spongebob’s frozen age is not even close to defined.
  7. The show overall promotes the idea that being rude and disrespectful is okay.
  8. Likewise, being unintelligent and simply just being obnoxious is also okay.
  9. Name another kid’s show where the main characters are hypothesized to be based on the seven deadly sins. Those are definitely not the qualities I really want my child glorifying.
  10. Patrick Starfish is vastly annoying. That’s reason enough.

Are you #teamsquarepants or #teamanything else? (Except Caillou… no one should ever be #teamcaillou.)



  1. Not all shows have to be educational and I glaze over any mention of ‘not for my child’ as cartoons aren’t always aimed at young children.

    However….I do hate SpongeBob with the intensity of a 100 burning suns.


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