When I say “hate”, I actually use that word very purposefully and in all its fullness.
I hate Spongebob Squarepants.
If I could make Spongebob disappear from the earth I would. He, and all his under the sea friends, drive me insane. There are research studies, like legit university professors, that have investigated the destructive non-sense that is the yellow square sponge.
Here are my reasons:
(This list is not all-inclusive and should you feel so inclined, please add some of your own thoughts in the comments section.)
- He is LOUD. Like always. There is no “inside voice” or conversational tone ever.
- He talks through his nose. This is like “nails to a chalkboard” for me. This goes for both SB’s talking voice as well as his laugh. (Reasons 1 & 2 are actually enough for me but if you need other reasons I will continue on with my list.)
- He, like another severely disliked character Caillou, can not solve any problem on his own without whining or acting like the world is ending.
- The show adds nothing productive or educational to life. No really. I mean some people, I suppose, find it “funny” but when have you ever heard anyone say “oh my kid learned that from Spongebob (or any other SB character.)”
- The humor, if you should define it as such, is usually about the making fun of the idiocy of one of the characters.
- How old is Spongebob anyway??? He is getting a boating license, yet lives on his own. He goes to school but also works full time at the Crabby Patty. I realize that most cartoon characters do not age, well except Dora apparently, but Spongebob’s frozen age is not even close to defined.
- The show overall promotes the idea that being rude and disrespectful is okay.
- Likewise, being unintelligent and simply just being obnoxious is also okay.
- Name another kid’s show where the main characters are hypothesized to be based on the seven deadly sins. Those are definitely not the qualities I really want my child glorifying.
- Patrick Starfish is vastly annoying. That’s reason enough.
Are you #teamsquarepants or #teamanything else? (Except Caillou… no one should ever be #teamcaillou.)