8 Reasons to Bring On the Big Kids – And 2 Things That Are Harder Than Ever

It was just this past March that my dear friend gave birth to her second child, and now again in the last week, good friends and former neighbors have welcomed a new addition to their family. Here I am 42, and there’s a mini baby-boom burgeoning around me. It’s a rare mother indeed who can see photos or visit in person to hold a sweet, squishy newborn and not inhale just a whiff of nostalgia with that soft, powdery scent. I’m as weak-kneed as any before the allure of new baby smell and joy, but even so, I’m glad enough to breathe deeply of that intoxicating power, and then hand the baby back to his or her mama.

My own children are almost-5 and just-turned-7 and I’m ready to bring on the big kids. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve cherished my kids’ infant and toddler years – and there are some things that are harder than others for me to let go (more on that later). But I’m finding so many reasons to love and appreciate where we are now as a family, and where we’re going. Here are my top 8 –

1. I (sometimes) – get to shower and use the bathroom in private. Oh, not every time, to be sure. And maybe not the entire time. But there’s at least a 40% chance that when (not if) a child interrupts me while I’m in the bathroom, said child will respect my plea for privacy and leave the room to wait with the door closed. Priceless.
2. Getting 6 1/2 to 7 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep a night. Every mother knows the key word in that sentence. There are still occasions when child #1 or #2 will wake up ill or with a bad dream, goes with the territory. There will always, as long as they live in my house, be those groggy, anxious wake ups and slowly dawning realizations of fever, fetching of cool cloths and ibuprofen and the “throw-up bowl” (or bucket or whatever receptacle you use at your house). I wouldn’t (as I’m sure you wouldn’t) have those nights any other way since they let me know I’m still needed. But most of the time, my kids go to bed, and stay there sleeping until the lights on their “tot-clocks” turn green (approximately). Halle-freaking-luiah.
3. Really the best thing – watching my kids learn, grow, ask questions, and see the real personalities beyond just id forming in each of them. I love seeing how they’re alike and different, how like me or like my husband or like no one else we’ve never known. Watching E’s emerging, impressive talent for art. Seeing the wheels click in J’s head as he works on a jigsaw puzzle or through the logistics of hypothetical animal face-offs.
4. No.More.Diapers. ‘Nuf said, except you might have thought this would be higher on the list. Meh. I can deal with child poo better than lack of bathroom privacy or sleep deprivation.
5. We’re starting to do fun – REALLY fun, like fun for adults as well as children – things with our kids. We went ziplining (OK, technically, E and J watched as Scott and I went, but next time, I’m confident, they’ll zip). We’ve gone RV-camping with my dad, and plan to go again this fall. Tent camping is on the agenda, too. Family game nights. And OK, I (now not-so) secretly have aspirations that we’ll compete as a family (and finish in the top 3) on the Amazing Race. Go ahead, laugh. Scott is on board. Go Team Thomas!
6. My children are at an age that’s perfectly ripe for chores. They want to do them! They’re finally getting to “help” an adult. My expectations for how thoroughly the chore is actually achieved are low, very low. It’s all about the effort. At least while they’re attempting to clean, they’re not messing up other stuff. Check and mate.
7. The opportunity to share some of my favorite cultural touchstones – for now things like The Princess Bride, The Velveteen Rabbit, Just So Stories, Shel Silverstein, the Ramones; soon, the Harry Potter books . . . eventually? Do I want to be the one to introduce my kids to Monty Python? Yes, yes I do (granted we’ve probably got at least 7-8 years to wait for that).
8. Observing how others, particularly extended family who see the kids more like every few months instead of every day, respond to watching them grow. Witnessing your child’s growth through the eyes of your older loved ones is such a gift – they remind you of the things you did that were just like your kiddo – that certain hand on the hip, or obsession with tiny toys. And they see the growth spurts and leaps in understanding when we everyday parents can let them pass almost unremarked.

Yet as much as I’m ready to bring on the big kid fun, there are two things that are still hard, harder than ever. The first is, always, letting go. As much as I love and anticipate each new stage, it can be hard to know that some things are gone forever. Maybe the hardest to relinquish for me is knowing I’ll never nurse another newborn. I’ll always treasure the memories of breast feeding my babies; I’d heard about nursing being a “bonding” experience  but didn’t really believe it until I experienced it. The bits of infancy I most wish I could go back and “visit” would be some of those still, perfectly symbiotic moments in the middle of the night.