I have a mom friend. A very good mom friend. A friend who loves my children (almost) as much as her own. A friend who understands that some days I am not a perfect person. A friend who love me in spite of my flaws. A friend who has been there for me when I have needed childcare, a listening ear, a break to go vacation at Target and more.
But, on paper…
we shouldn’t be friends at all.
Me: Republican Her: Democrat
Me: Thrives on organization and can’t relax unless my minimum to-do list is done Her: Chaos is fine as long as it’s fun and the important stuff gets done
Me: 10% crunchy Her: 80% crunchy
Me: Has trouble sitting still Her: Relaxation is a skill
Me: Rule follower Her: Goes with the flow
Me: Introvert Her: Extrovert
Me: Loves chips and dip Her: Loves chips and dip (Oh wait, this one is the same. Maybe this is why we are friends.)
Me: Strict limits with video games Her: Not as much
Me: Catholic and church-going Her: Spirituality looks non-traditional
Me: Opinionated Her: To each their own
Me: Lacks patience Her: This is a strength
Me: Stricter disciplinarian Her: More relaxed approach
Me: Epidural no question Her: Went natural with her second baby
Me: Can’t nap Her: Loves sleep
Me: Likes schedules, LOVE my planner Her: Likes doing stuff, not so much the schedules
Like I said, on paper we shouldn’t be friends.
There has been a lot of attention given to how we, as mothers, need to work on letting go of judgement and build one another up instead of tearing them down. My friend and I are proof that differences can be a non-issue. I am very aware of the difference in parenting opinion that we have and while we have talked politics on occasion, mostly this is a non-issue because it has very little impact on our relationship where it matters. These differences are purely that. Differences. It’s what makes people fascinating.
But, what matters… what REALLY matters, is when you look beyond that list above and realize that we are the same where it counts.
We both love our kids.
We both love each others kids.
We both understand that the imperfect days will be followed by near perfect ones.
We both love getting outside, crafting and playing with our kids.
I don’t care if she shows up at my house in yoga pants and sits on my couch because she just needs a break and wants my kids to entertain hers for a bit.
She doesn’t care if I am being “blah” and more withdrawn because I am struggling with my stress level that day.
She understands what it is like to try to parent with a migraine.
We both love good (unhealthy!) food. And chips and dip.
We both see the good in the other and appreciate that for what it is.
I know that when I really need her, she will do what she can to be there. And I hope she knows the same is true from me.
We make each other laugh.
Sarcasm suits us.
I can go cut my grass or change the sheets on my bed while she hangs out on my deck with my kids.
I don’t even have to be home for her to feel comfortable hanging out on my deck.
We are honest with one another. Even when it’s about those differences listed above.
So, against all odds, I have found a friend.
