Dear America, I’m Heartbroken

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Let’s be clear – I love America. So much so that I have an American flag tattooed to my side. But lately, America has let me down as I now view her from the lens of being a mom, and I have a few things to say to her. So that we’re on the same page, I love to travel and see the world and have a little bit, so I’m not completely narrow-minded in my love of country. Though I don’t believe that crime is necessarily up, nor do I believe that this stuff didn’t happen before, it is different now. With the onset and constant use of social media, I feel the life is sucked out of me as I keep up on all of the current events and what is unfolding around me. I feel smaller and less able to make an impact on the world, but most importantly on those three little faces looking to me for guidance.Image of Ashley V.

Dear America,

I’m heartbroken. I’m sad. I’m anxious. I’m nervous. You see, I’m trying to raise three beautiful children to be incredible citizens and someday leaders in their own respect, but I am simply conflicted by the many things I see, hear and experience day to day. So, before this gets any further, I think I’m speaking for myself and many other mamas out there when I send you this message, asking for some things to change.

I’m looking for the leaders.

Where did they go? I was raised to respect authority and those who hold guiding positions in our schools, our government and the church. Lately, though, it appears there are many in these service-oriented roles, in places of leadership, who have simply forgotten why they rose to that place. I have to turn the channel on the radio quickly when the news comes on for fear my kids will hear what they simply can not yet understand, nor should they. I am constantly reconsidering how to word and phrase instructions to my son, who is now in full-day kindergarten about how to trust adults, but also to understand limits, boundaries, and expectations. So I ask again, where are the leaders? Can they kindly reclaim the roles of influence, power, and impact so the future can look brighter and I can worry less about my children being supervised by others?Varol family

My guard is up.

How do I possibly allow myself to trust other adults when I regularly learn of situations where we’ve let our kids down. As parents here in America, can we all agree it’s time for us to be a little more careful with actions, a little more mindful with our words and a little more aware of our neighbors? But to do so, we must find a way to stick together more, building our villages and communities while improving systems already in place to help support, protect and nurture our littles? America – we need to fix what’s broken and we need to help each other out more, improving our communities starting with our relationships as neighbors. I’ve found the NextDoor app lately, which has restored some of my hope in humanity, but that’s just not enough.

But what’s inside is what counts.

Another broad question I have: can we stop focusing on our differences just a little bit, and start demonstrating to our children that we have more in common than not? Anymore, there is so much divisiveness, with racism and sexism still so present. I know I speak from a place of privilege, so it may seem unfair, but I think it could be incredible to highlight and generate excitement about the fact that at the end of the day we are all human, with emotions, motivations, and gifts we bring to the table. Irrespective of the many heritages we share or level of ability, I try to teach my kids that we are all the same – our blood, our organs, our brains. My son pointed out two children by the color of their pants, not the color of the skin; we as adults need to do this more. Especially now that so many of us are from blended families vs. the more singular backgrounds of a few generations ago; we can help our children to grow up stronger and better able to set the labels and injustices that are happening now aside, working through and past them. I believe our future is in our children, so America – I need your help. Let’s take a pause, a moment and create mindful shifts in our thinking so our children can help us adjust what’s going on around us for the better.

 

America, I love you. And I love what you represent to many around the world. I hope someday we can find a way to resolve some of these concerns I have and get to a place where “won’t you be my neighbor” doesn’t seem like an invitation for a job interview, with those of us asking having to question those who surround us all the time.

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