To the Parent With a Child on the Autism Spectrum

To the parent with a child on the autism spectrum,

I see you.

I see you worry over taking your child to a new place. You worry about meltdowns. You worry about a new environment and how it may affect your child. You worry that your child might run off. You want to go on the playdate or meet up. You want to get out more. You feel like you will be judged or get looks. Other moms tell you they understand, but do they? You know a trip to the zoo could go south in a matter of seconds.

I see you cry when the waitlist exceeds a couple years. You want what is best. The best seems so far out of reach. You research waivers and talk with parents. The information is too much. Will you make the right decision? Will it be too late before you get that vital appointment? Time is the enemy.

I see you when you feel alone. You may belong to a community of fellow autism parents. You talk about what your child is doing. Autism is a spectrum. Your child is on one end. Your friend’s may be on another. While your friend’s child communicates with words, your child does not speak. You wonder. You wonder what you could have done differently. Your friend’s child is making progress in the same therapy your child is in. You don’t see the same progress. You cringe when people assume your child is like “Rain Man” or what they see on TV.

I see you when you are overwhelmed with life. You are overwhelmed with finances. Nothing is cheap. You are overwhelmed with meals. When your friends complain about their children being picky, they have no idea. You serve chicken nuggets for the tenth night in a row and hope that one day they will try something new. Going out to eat should not be difficult. For you, it can be.

I see you when you question everything. You want to do what is best for your child, but what is it? You look at therapies available. You hear mixed opinions that leave you more confused. You find the right therapy. Then someone tells you it is no good. You wear yourself thin running to PT, OT, and speech.

You worry about your other children. Are they getting enough attention? How will all of this impact them? You want to give them all your time. You do give them time. I see that.

There are two things I want to tell you. As an outsider, I want to share my perspective.

Your unconditional love and hard work do not go unnoticed. When you feel like you aren’t doing enough or failing, you are far from. I admire you. I strive to push harder with my own children. I look up to you. Your dedication and perseverance inspire me.

I see your beautiful child. Your child is changing lives. Your child will continue to change lives. I speak from experience. Your child will put a smile on someone’s face. Your child will give someone a different outlook on life, an outlook for the better.

You see, my life was changed by individuals with autism. In a time in which I felt like the world was against me, your child accepted me. Your child loved me for the person I am. And although communication can be a barrier, I know that your child “gets me”. I know individuals with autism show their emotions in a different way.

I have felt the intense love from my friends. Every new accomplishment makes us want to shout to the world. I know you feel it. When we feel it, we celebrate with you.