4 Ways to Set Boundaries

Relationships are messy. Like, really, REALLY messy. Relationships are so hard, especially when the person does not take into account your boundaries. It can be someone really close to you, such as a family member, a friend, an ex, a parent or an acquaintance. I have learned that in order to preserve my integrity and self-worth, I need to set boundaries. It’s a must! Here are 4 ways I set my boundaries:

1. Guard your heart! Those hurtful, harmful words people can say, man. Sometimes, they know they are hurting you, but they do it on purpose. They know the EXACT thing to say to make you break down. Other times, they have no idea they have just broken a heartstring. Do not be a doormat, but at the same time do not allow those words to penetrate your heart. It’s not worth it. 
2. Ignore phone calls/text messages. AND ITS OKAY!! You are allowed to. Screen your calls! Just today, in fact, I had a phone call from someone and sent it to voicemail. My thought? “Not today Satan!” Today is Sunday (when I’m writing this), it’s family day in our house. I truly did not want to hear it today. I wanted to keep my peace. Because, when I talk to this person it completely messes me up mentally for the rest of the day. 
3. Let them bark outside the fence. Let them bark all they want. Let them think what they want to think. Let them do what they want to do. Just do NOT, I repeat DO NOT let them in your yard. I had a close friend of mine tell me this a while ago, and it changed my outlook forever. You cannot change crazy, its always going to be crazy. Just do not allow the crazy in. 
4. Say NO! Oh my goodness, this is so freeing. No! See?! You can say it! Practice it with me….NO! I have learned over time that it’s okay to pick and choose what I want to do in my life on a daily basis. Heck, I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no even when I just need to slow down and rest. Netflix and relax instead of going to awkward Aunt Lucy’s BBQ? Totally fine. I’ve also learned not to feel guilty about it either. 

When I think of my boundaries, I think of what matters to me the most. I care about God, first and foremost. I know when I look for my worth and value, I set my eyes on him. Then, I look at my core family. My husband and my daughter. Oh, how I would do anything for them. If Mommy isn’t taking care of herself, I turn into a pretty grumpy Mommy. I like being happy and healthy Mommy instead.