I remember being about 10, around the age my daughter is now, and whining to my mother that all the kids in school got chore money, and I didn’t. She calmly told me that I do chores as part of the family, and I don’t get rewarded for something I should be doing anyway as part of that family. I hadn’t quite learned by that time that my mother’s “no” meant “no,” and it wasn’t good to push her!
She finally caved, to my excitement! She walked me through my weekly chore chart, and we assigned a monetary amount to each chore. I worked all week for that money and couldn’t wait to spend it (when you’re in a family of five kids, it’s a rare feeling to have money outside of Christmas and your birthday)! I bragged to all my friends at school that I was going to get chore money just like they did. I remember getting a handful of quarters, dimes, and nickels from my mom that Sunday night and feeling like a millionaire. Then, I went to bed.
Monday morning came, and I lept out of bed! I ran to the bathroom to get ready, and my mom was standing there blocking the bathroom door. She was just looking at me. I asked her if I could please go to the bathroom. She told me it’d be 5 cents to use her water and toilet paper, so I handed it over. I went to wash my hands, but she was right there again. 10 cents this time for using her soap, water, and the hand towel she’d have to wash later.
It continued like this all through getting breakfast for eating her food and using her dishes and utensils she had bought and would have to wash later, being able to put on my clothes she had paid for, paying her for my lunch to take to school, and paying her for gas on the car ride to school. That car trip took a lot of money!
I vaguely remember having enough money to get a drink from the vending machine at after-school care and feeling like a big kid for buying it myself.
Then, I, of course, got charged for the car trip back home. That was the last of my money. My mom tried to charge me to enter the house (a door-opening fee), but I had nothing left. I didn’t even make it through one day! Being my stubborn self, I sat outside at the table on the front porch for who knows how long. I remember thinking to myself that I didn’t have any money left to eat dinner and that maybe I’d have to sleep outside. I couldn’t even get in the house to do my chores for that day to try and make more money.
Eventually, my mom came out to ask me if I was ready to be part of the family (and all that entailed). I ran to her, hugged her, thanked her, and told her I was so sorry for complaining about not getting chore money. And, I never asked her to pay me for my chores again.
I didn’t realize then just how brilliant of a mother she actually was. Fast forward a couple decades, and I have my own daughter coming to me complaining that she doesn’t get chore money like her friends. Instead of making her suffer through the whole test like I did, I simply sat down with her and told her that story. She immediately agreed that she just wanted to do her part as a member of our family to keep our house clean and never asked me about it again.
Paying kids for doing their chores isn’t bad, but it’s just not something that was done in my family, in my husband’s family, or in our own little family.
I do think it’s important to teach our kids the value and importance of managing money wisely, however. This past year, we did get her a kids’ savings and checking account at our credit union, which even gives kids money when opening their account and chances to win contests throughout the year!
And, my husband came up with the idea of paying our daughter money for doing EXTRA in school, above what is expected. The caveat is that she has to pay us when she doesn’t meet her goal each day. From the money she earns at the end of each month during the school year, about 40% of it goes to her savings account, which she has to calculate herself.
From her “spending” money, she pays the monthly charge for the iPhone she wanted, and she decides what to spend the rest of her own money on. Towards the end of the school year, she even would go to the Dollar Tree and surprise my husband and I with little treats she knows are our favorites. It’s been a wonderful experiment, and we plan to continue it.
Whatever you decide to give your kids money for…
- Make sure they have done something extra to deserve it when it’s not a birthday or holiday, so they learn the value of earning.
- Turn the process into money-management lessons even from a young age – work on savings and budgeting their money for things they really want instead of constant impulse buys.
- Empower them with the responsibilities that always accompany rewards in life.
Do you pay your kids for their chores, or how do you teach your own children about the value of money in your home?
