Cincinnati Toddler’s Blog: If Toddlers Could Read & Write


Yo, toddler! Are you between the ages of 12 to 36 months, living in the greater-Cincinnati area, looking for a trusted, local resource for all things toddler? Time for you to get informed by something other than the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Enter stage left — Cincinnati’s Toddler’s Blog.


Fake news alert! My toddler twins can’t read or use social media (although they know how to work my iPhone camera remarkably well), but if they did I’d imagine their newsfeed would look something like this. Read on for twenty parodic Cincinnati Toddler’s Blog posts. And remember kids, always ask for permission before logging on 😉  

  1. List: Holiday Songs We Just Can’t Stop Singing into Spring
  2. More Goldfish, Please: 9 Recipes to Incorporate More of Those Delicious Crackers into Your Life
  3. Recap: Inedible Items I’ve Put in My Mouth This past Month
  4. Why My Parents Don’t Buy Organic Milk
  5. The Life Hack That Won’t Really Make Your Parents Life Easier
  6. 6 Effective Ways to Get the Toys you Really Want NOW
  7. The Unspoken Rules of the Playground
  8. Baby Gap Sale Alert: How to Make Your Parents Spend More Money on You and Look Cute Doing It
  9. Quiz: Which Paw Patrol Character Are You?
  10. Toddler Keeping Tabs on Low Sticker Inventory Situation
  11. What’s Really in Your Mom’s Purse?
  12. The 8 Types of Kids You Meet at Story Time
  13. 2017 Resolutions to Keep: Bye-Bye, Pacifier; Hello, Training Pants
  14. Toddler Confessions: Why I Hate Target
  15. Playground Reviews Around Town: Jungle Gyms Not Just for Big Kids Anymore
  16. 13 Tips for Surviving Your Parents during Your Toddler Years
  17. Dear Abby: What’s with All the Wine Bottles in the Recycling Bin?
  18. Healthy Snacks: What Your Parents Aren’t Telling You (Drop the Sippy Cup — There’s Spinach in That Smoothie!)
  19. This Just In: Sharing Is Overrated
  20. Sesame Street Episode Recap: the Underappreciated Letter “R”
  21. Bonus: Why the Food on Your Parent’s Plate Tastes Better Than Yours

What blog post would your toddler be writing today?



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