When More Is Too Much: Five Things I Did When I Hit the Reset Button

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Sometime late last winter, a realization smacked me in the face like a snowball. And really, there was no reason why I couldn’t see it coming. The signs skirted around me like the short, dark strands of hair falling from my scalp. My patience was thin and my temper quick – there were days when I was certain fire came out of my mouth. Children cowered in my presence.

Me. The issue was me. In my effort to “have it all,” I’d grown a to-do list longer than Willie Nelson’s braids, falling slave to the game and totally squelching the happy, spontaneous and creative person I knew was inside. Rarely in the present, I was continually fixated in a daze of what was next. My mind raced with things I needed to do for clients, in and around my house, appointments that needed booked and supplies purchased for kids’ activities I’d found on Pinterest. I zoned out of bedtime stories, scrolling through email to make sure nothing required an immediate response. I asked my husband about his weekend plans and it triggered thoughts of what I needed to add to my mental list of things to do.

Too MuchSome people can do this. I cannot.

It was exhausting.

Yet when I compared my situation to that of many other people—other mothers—I really didn’t have much to complain about. I had a wonderful husband, two funny and good little girls, a great gig, a roof over my head and an awesome network of family and friends. But I had gotten myself caught in a place where it was all just too much. By placing all my energy on what was next, I was neglecting what was right in front of me. I’d lost my ability to be content.

You know when your computer, modem or cable box starts acting up, and the first thing the repair technician suggests is to unplug it, wait for a few seconds and then plug it back in? Well that’s what I did.

While I’m not totally out of the weeds yet, I have made some pretty substantial changes with the hopes of being more intentional—and more content—with life. Sure, I still have lists. I still find myself wishing I had accomplished more and still regularly dream of things I want to do. But I am centered and much closer to where I want to be… mentally, spiritually and creatively.

Here are the five things I did:

  1. I took a personal inventory. I looked at the things I wanted more of in my life, like more quality time with my family and more time for creativity, and I planned around that. When taking this inventory, I assigned tiers to my priorities so it’s easier [for me] to focus while in the moment. For example, my kids are a tier one priority and work a tier two. If I receive a work-related call or an email while I’m playing with them, I wait until we’re done playing before responding. Obviously there’s some give and take with this type of system, but it has helped me clearly focus on the things at the top of my list.
  2. I talked with my husband. My husband is a super stud who not only cooks and cleans but also listens to me drivel on about everything from the person who cut me off in the morning to the telemarketer who annoyed me that afternoon. I got his input on things we could do together to reinvigorate our dynamic at home, which included dropping our devices at the door and having more focused family time.
  3. I started meditating. I’d recently read this interview with Kobe Bryant and Arianna Huffington and knew that meditation was a secret sauce for a ton of successful people, but I didn’t get it. And then I tried it. And within days, I understood. It’s helped me relax and gain better control over my mindset, no matter the situation…[Note: Mediation still hasn’t helped me control two-year-old meltdowns at the grocery store.]
  4. I forced myself on the treadmill. It’s said that exercise increases the levels of serotonin that goes to your brain, which enhances your mental clarity. Let it be known that I. HATE. RUNNING. But I love the benefits more, so I do it.
  5. I let go of a few vices. This included a couple of toxic friendships and most weeknight dates with my corkscrew. Cleansing my mind required eliminating anything that could throw up a roadblock in that pursuit, so I made an effort to fill my body with the people and things that would build me up, not wear me down.

In the sub-Reddit “Explain It Like I’m Five,” user ELI5 asked the question: Why does “unplug it and plug it back in” work occasionally when fixing technology?

User Dopplegangr1 responded: “Imagine the issue like a traffic jam/accident. The cars may be backed up so nobody can get anywhere, but there’s nothing wrong with the roads. Unplugging the machine clears all the cars off the road and they start over again. If the road was damaged (permanent damage like broken hardware) the jam would happen again and this wouldn’t be effective, but that isn’t as common. “Plugging it back in again” works because there’s nothing actually broken, something just went wrong in the software and can be cleared away.”

I’ve found that sometimes we just need to take the time to hit reset and clear our roads in order to keep going.

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Andi
Born and raised in the Buckeye state, my husband and I moved to Cincinnati a few years ago by way of Chicago so we could be a little closer to family. We love this little big city, particularly when the trees start to bloom, fireflies are flickering and Riverbend is rockin'. We have two amazing little toddlers who continually entertain us with jokes and great dance moves and three chickens. I write about food, lifestyle and parenting at my blog www.andicurry.com.

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