Let’s face it. Our moms have received the short end of the stick for years. About the time we turned 12, our moms have been shelved for “friend time.” It is time to change that.
Your mom has watched behind the scenes, encouraging you as you faced hardships and celebrating your successes. Then she would give you a goodbye hug as you skipped out the door to spend free time with your girlfriends, dates, husband, and kids. She likely observed as you posted pictures of trips, concerts, nights out, and life. My guess is she never complained.
At least mine didn’t. Not a single time.
This past year, my mom understood, at times painfully, as I attempted to follow all the guidelines given, carefully picking places to go and people to see. Toward the end of a genuinely tough year, she looked at me and said, “You need to getaway. Let’s do a girls’ trip – just you and me.”
I told my husband and he stated:
“Go. I have the kids. You need this time.”
So, after a year of being shut up and thanks to her second vaccine, I took a trip with my mom to our family getaway. It is secluded this time of the year with a single boat sitting in the midst of an otherwise deserted dock. The grocery stores had not yet raised prices for tourist season. The neighborhood saw only a single walker all week.
It was perfect.
For many days, we did absolutely nothing. We sat on the deck, drank coffee, ate salads with fresh fruits and vegetables, breathed in the windy lake breeze, and watched the waves. By the third day, I finally felt like a weight lifted as I did after a bad day at school when my mom would sit and drink tea with me. Some things don’t change.
One day, after a shower with no one needing me or bickering, I stared into the mirror and remembered all the times my grandma and mom would blow-dry my hair in this very spot. It invariably made me feel protected and loved. I shut my eyes, feeling my lip quiver and felt nostalgia, thankfulness and peace all at once. I needed this. I needed my mom.
On the final day, we went geocaching, took a masked selfie on a coast walk, and quickly shopped for gifts for the family. During the drive home, it started to pour heavily and I panicked. My mom said, “No problem, hun. Look, we will just wait out the storm. It is no big deal – I have nowhere to be but with you.”
I have nowhere to be but with you.
How many times in our life are we gifted with this kind of love? How long did we take that for granted growing up, experiencing our lives, and attempting to find a connection in the relationships around us?
We missed that this deep understanding was sitting in front of us. Funny, she likely knew we’d figure it out in our own time, and allowed us that self-realization.
“Let’s have a girls’ getaway,“ she said for years. Now she says, “Let’s do this every year.”
I couldn’t agree more.