The Good Days Are Now

1

I remember the day that really changed my way of thinking. It was a few years ago and I was faced with the conundrum of limited space for photos on my photo gallery wall. I wanted to put up some new pictures of my newborn and my oldest, but it meant replacing some of the baby pictures of my then three-year-old.

At that moment I thought, I could just continue to add frames and cover all my main living spaces in pictures or I could take some of the older pictures down. Let’s be real though, my house is pretty small and I would cover up every inch of wall space in a short matter of time if I decided to continue to add frames to my walls.

When I decided that the best possible option would be to probably take a few of the baby photos of my then three-year-old down, I cried a little bit. How could I put some of these photos away? It means that my first baby is no longer a baby, no longer a toddler. I started to think back on the last couple of years… there were things that I had wished that I had known better as a first time mom, things that I wish could have done differently. Of course, I loved my son and appreciated him so much, but there were days that I thought back to when I was overwhelmed and wished for him to be a little older and more independent. I wish that I could have enjoyed him more each minute.

I was upset with myself for not always enjoying every single minute as he got older, farther away from being a baby, and more independent.  I left the photos as is on the wall for two days while I thought this through.

I realized over the next couple of days, as I cried and focused on the days that have past when my oldest was a baby, was 1 year old, was 2 years old, was 3 years old… I am missing the now.

If I allow myself to cry about days gone by when my kids were younger, I will continue to be in an unending cycle. There will come a day when the four-year old who seemed so old, which I was looking at his one-year-old pictures will be seven, and I will be looking back at photos when he was four, wondering what happened to those days. From that point forward, I have learned to enjoy today, enjoy my kids’ ages now, enjoy life now, and not look back and wish that I could turn back time. And not look forward too much and wish that my boys were older.

Here are a few tips on how I try my best to enjoy the present:

  1. I enjoy my kids for who they are and what age they are today. I don’t wish for the future or dwell in the past.
  2. I prioritize what is important to my kids today. For example, my son asked to have a birthday party for his stuffed animal Chase. He does not ask for things like that a lot. I went out and bought him a small $5 cake at the grocery store and it meant the world to him. A year later, he still talks about it. 
  3. I try my best to preserve the memories from the present. I have a school memory binder, I write down cute things that my kids say, and I take pictures whenever possible.
  4. I remind my kids to enjoy the present and not just wish for things in the future.
  5. I fully immerse myself in the now. If I find myself sitting on my couch, missing out on family time for no good reason, I get up and do something.
  6. I remind myself that each day is a gift. I am both lucky to be alive and lucky to be the mother of my children. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
  7. I also try my best to appreciate my husband each day, to remind him that I appreciate him, to do nice things for him when I think of it. I remind myself of why I married him each day and how lucky I am that he chose to go on this crazy ride called parenting, with me.

Now that I have changed my way of thinking, I find myself happier on a more frequent basis. I also find that I spend less time worrying and more time just being.

Previous articleRecycle Your Legos, Markers and Contacts
Next articleMy Jewish New Year Resolution
Zandria Schnur
Zandria is originally from Northwest Ohio. She met her husband in the beginning of her freshmen year of college. He is a born and raised Cincinnati west sider. He took her home to meet the family that December and Zandria fell in love with her husband and Cincinnati. It was an easy decision to make as to what city they would live in after Zandria was done with school. Zandria has been married since 2008 and has lived in Cincinnati since 2009. She has two wonderful boys whom are 4 and 1 and also is pregnant with a third baby due in August 2017. When Zandria is not driving her boys around the city to have an adventure, she enjoys sewing, crafts in general, taking pictures of her family, debating with her husband over who is using a word correctly (and often getting out the dictionary), coffee, and great conversation.

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here