Feeling Guilty About Not Having Any More Babies


Sometimes I feel guilty about not having any more children. I mean, I want more children but I just don’t think I could physically or mentally handle it! I see all these other moms having three, four, five or even six kids, and I think to myself, how do they do it?!

Now I know a lot of moms who have two kids, like me, and that’s totally great!


I am 36 and my body does not respond to labor and, therefore, I’ve needed to have my children through cesarean section and I just don’t want another major abdominal surgery. It’s such a hard recovery on so many levels and I have a beautiful family with one girl and one boy, but something inside me feels guilt over not having anymore babies. Why do I feel this way?!

I know God calls us to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ and I have, twice! And I don’t feel like this is coming from God. I think I feel this from a place of comparison and possibly even competition, which is the strangest sort of place to come from for me because I am the most non-competitive person ever.

On one hand, I think women all over the world have figured out how to handle the pressures of a house full of children – navigating bath schedules, morning routines, meal planning and car trips (especially in the winter with THOSE COATS, on and off, on and off). And all of our modern-day conveniences have got to make it even easier for us than moms 50 years ago! But on the other hand, I am exhausted by the end of the day and couldn’t imagine one more kid calling out to me or waking me up in the middle of the night. Seriously, how do you moms of three-plus kids do it?

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel like less of a mom than those moms.

Like, why can’t I imagine doing it again? I need to stop questioning myself as a mom. I need to find contentment with where I am and see that God has a plan for me and is maybe protecting me by not giving me a desire to have anymore. My first C-section was traumatic but my second was scheduled and although it was easier, both were difficult. I’ve had two wonderful, uncomplicated pregnancies so maybe the next wouldn’t be so easy. I don’t know.

I do know that I need to find peace and stop comparing myself. It’s my plague; I’ve done it my whole life. I thought for a while I was over it, but then this creeped into my life. For me, having two children only means we’ll be out of the baby stage sooner and family vacations will be more adventurous, dining out will be calmer, full nights of sleep will come back to me and maybe I’ll be able to get back to me a little more, doing other things that bring me joy other than my children.

But it also means that little hands won’t be needing my help as much and baby snuggles won’t be within just my arms. I guess maybe this is something all moms go through when they realize they have had their last baby. I always wanted at least two kids, four at the most. I guess God really knew all along how many babies I needed.

When I start to compare myself to others, I remind myself that God has me right where I am meant to be. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true! God chose me to be their mom and for them to be mine. Also, finding contentment is the ultimate goal. Being content in all circumstances is what He wants for me – whether I have two kids or 12. Calming breaths and sweet snuggles are so helpful, too.

And I hope other moms can see that it’s okay to address your inner thoughts on difficult subjects. I didn’t really want to give space to this in my heart because I thought it would be shameful for me to not want more kids. Being honest with yourself is the best way to be the best version of yourself for your kids!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here