Now, note that I didn’t mention teens in that title. 😉
But, in all seriousness, I have a friend who is an incredible mom, a brilliant creative spirit, and the most compassionate soul. She is a single mom of a young daughter and constantly beats herself up for all the shortcomings she thinks she has as a mother. This friend of mine recently shared that she was having an exceptionally hard day, her daughter sensed it, and her daughter told her in the most innocent way that it was okay for moms to cry, and my friend should just cry and feel better after. So, she did.
Later, she asked her daughter if she was enough for her. The sweet little girl said, “Always.” It broke my heart to think of all the times I have felt inadequate and as if I were failing as a parent, to think of my own mother (and my mother-in-law) telling us grown children that she didn’t think she was a good mom to us. I wholeheartedly disagree and truly believe my mom was amazing and did the very best she could for her kids. I thought I had the best mom as a child, and from an adult perspective, I know I have the best.
It is not an isolated thing for a mom to feel as if she is failing at motherhood from time to time. The fact that we take our responsibilities as a parent so seriously as to second-guess our results is exactly what should prove to us how great we are!
If you ever feel yourself slipping down this mental path, here are some things to remember:
- There is no true guidebook to parenting – you do your best and figure it out as you go.
- Children just naturally love and look up to their parents, even the most imperfect ones.
- Lighten up! Kids sense your stress level and will be worse for wear than if you just enjoyed each moment and were easier on yourself.
- If you feel you messed up as a parent, leave it in the past and start over with a new day!
- Don’t internalize your feelings of inadequacy – talk them out and keep moving.
You know that moment of intense love you felt when you first looked on your newborn’s face? That’s the same feeling they feel for you at the end of each day! It’s not a bond easily broken by small things like not feeding them perfectly balanced meals every day, being tired and cranky sometimes, losing your patience, not being fully “present” every moment, forgetting to pack their lunch one day, etc.
You are enough.
They know it; you just need to know it for yourself.
