My whole life I have been told that I am not a very good liar. Either my face or my voice or something else always gives me away, and I learned early on to just not try to lie to people. However, I have realized there are lies I tell myself, and my subconscious does not seem to believe me either. I am constantly looking for ways to continue bettering myself and working on self-improvement, and I recently came across a really good book that challenged me to remember the psychological part of how we treat ourselves.
Some lies include believing that I had to look or act or be someone that others or society wanted me to be. Another was the lie that I had to be with the father of my child. Another is trying to get my health and body back in order after a severe doubt of depression and telling myself all the grand ways I was going to do that in only a matter of months. I have told myself lies about not being a good friend or wife or partner or mom. I have told myself lies about over commitments.
One of the things that stuck out to me from the book I read was challenging myself to ask how I would expect my subconscious to react to me if I treat myself like somebody that is unreliable and never follows through on anything. This really hit home when I started reflecting on my health and fitness goals. If I kept telling myself that I was going to go to the gym twice a week, but then one week passed by… then another, and another, did my subconscious really believe me that I wanted to reach that goal? How do I look at people in my life that continually flake on me? I start not trusting them anymore and not wanting to make them a primary part of my life.
Do I want my subconscious to feel that way about ME? Absolutely not.
I always make such a point of being someone others can rely on, especially when it counts. Why can’t I give myself that same respect? If I make a promise to myself, I need to actually follow through on that promise and not let anything get in my way.
So for fun, I’ll be honest in a way that many moms try not to be, but we all can relate in one way or another.
Some truths are that I have chin hairs that I have to pluck every day because of my strong Italian and slight German genetic influence (thanks to both of my grandmas). I have stretch marks from my daughter despite slathering on cocoa butter every morning and night of my pregnancy! In more seriousness, I am a great friend, I am a hard worker, I am a fierce and unwavering partner, I am the best mom that I can be, I am a good daughter and granddaughter, and I am taking the strides I know I can commit to when it comes to my physical health.
I have been better the past couple years of surrounding myself with people that are going to encourage and inspire me. This has been one element of improving my own self-talk. I still have to remind myself to see myself through the lense that my family and my husband see me. My husband tells me every day how amazing I am and what an incredible best friend I am and how beautiful I am and what a great mom I am. I have to hold onto those truths and allow myself to be as encouraging and supportive of myself as I am of everyone else around me.
This ties into posts I have done previously on the way we treat ourselves and how much of a stark contrast that sometimes is from how we treat everyone else around us. It does not mean being selfish and self-centered, but we have to make sure that we take care of ourselves so we can continue to be there for all the people that we do care about. It starts with us and what’s in our own control.
What are some lies you’ve told yourself over the years?