Moms work hard! We do so much whether it be staying at home or being a career mom. What truly saddens my heart is how, at times (in many cases, most of the time) we feel that we aren’t deserving of nice things or a break. Often, if I don’t finish every single thing on my “to do” list or if there are dishes in the sink, I feel like I didn’t do a good job that day.
I mom shame myself more than anyone else mom shames me.
We have a job that starts when our kids wake up and that doesn’t end until WE go to sleep. (Not necessarily when your kids go to sleep because honestly, that can be the best time to get the things done.) I feel bad or like I’m not doing a good job when I do chores at night. I feel like they need to be done before my husband gets home in order for them to count for the day. Truth be told, chores don’t have a time limit. There is no ticking time bomb on laundry or putting the dishes away. Sometimes they can wait. We are allowed to take a break yet we don’t always feel deserving of one because “we are moms and this is our job”.
Now, I love my husband more than words can express but he will be the first one to come home from a long day of work (he does work hard!) and see the house in disarray, kids bouncing off of the walls, and me with this,”I give up” look on my face and he thinks this means that I did nothing all day. I understand that this can be stressful to come home to but its also stressful to be at home in the thick of it all day. He is a wonderful husband and father and I am in NO WAY taking from that, but it does add to the mom complex that we get when we hear the dreaded “well what did you do all day?”.
I feel like there are so many negative stereotypes of the SAHM. I stay at home so I don’t bring anything to the table. I stay at home so I am lazy. I stay at home so how can I be exhausted? I stay at home so I have all the time in the world to get things done. This just isn’t the case.
Moms work hard!
We need to start treating ourselves. I am not suggesting that we drain our bank accounts and protest all our responsibilities, but I am saying that we should take care of ourselves rather than putting our needs very last. Its OK if the house isn’t perfect by 3PM. If we are worn out, it’s even OK to take a nap from time to time! Dare I suggest a spa day? I mean, I’ve never had one but it sounds AMAZING. Most of my clothes have stains or holes in them and my shoes are old because I have a hard time justifying buying things for myself! Moms shouldn’t feel selfish for wanting to look nice. We shouldn’t feel guilty for needing a break.
The Golden Rule is to treat others the way you would like to be treated. I say that we add to that and treat OURSELVES the way we would like to be treated. I do want others to be nice and respectful to me but I am not always nice or respectful to myself. That has to change and I know that I am not the only momma who suffers from being careless with yourself. We need to work on self-love. We need to compliment ourselves as well as other moms out there more. We are all just doing the best that we can and no one way of parenting is right. Treat yourself, Momma! You deserve it!