Years ago there awoke fog. It hazed into my life bringing a force of toxicity. It caused me to grow weary and weak. The normalcy of this fog appeared to be cherished due to the frequency of those affected around me. It appeared that this fog, which brought me such symptoms of blind tolerance and mindlessness, has crept into many new mothers lives.
Welcome to motherhood, it whispered into my ear as it soothed my mind to sleep. My body awake and forcibly pushing forward to supply life for this newborn I had just brought into the world. I at this moment became a mombie. There was a genuine feeling in this process; no warning signs of it happening. As I hold a picture of these first moments, I can see the symptoms shining through the gloss in my eyes and the pale of my cheeks.
Life for the next three years had been sucked out of me by my very own vampants (vampire-infants). They brought a curse that memorized me into just caring only for them and becoming overly obsessed in their survival. Were they aware of how entranced they have made me? No. Not even the slightest. For before they came out, this is all they knew. We sleep around their schedule. Eat around their schedule. Our lives became theirs from the moment of conception. Even before entering our body, we become obsessed with the idea and thought of their perfection and future we can share.
A clock ticks louder and forward as it churns from a race against time to conceive them to a methodical monotonous enslavement to keep them alive. Four long years since we have been blessed with the first thoughts our little vampant. He was the completion of our family. He was the last child. He is the glisten of a new sunrise as it sweeps across dewy fields. He brought the apocalyptic fog with his awakening, but will not allow this to be a negative experience.
No. For before you can see yourself, you must lose it. You must become so dedicated with a blind love and distracted from life with the simple task of just survival to really cherish these little minutes. A new you arises from this mombie phase; stronger, smarter, more compassionate, and empathetic. As they grow to be independent and you adjust to them supplying their own survival, a strength in the bond between you two sets the base for the rest of your life. You discover that your vampiant does not want to drain the life out of you, but yet discover their own. It’s as if, in an instant, the fog has been lifted and the curse of the mombie apocalypse has been released. You have emerged.
If you are currently a mombie or struggling to reach this miraculous moment of self-care, I promise it is but a sunrise away. With every first bite, every wean away, every first step…. leads our little one to become less of a little monster. We love them. Always will. Just remember to love yourself through this process, too.
