Last month I attended a live taping of one of my favorite podcasts… Alone. A bunch of local fans whom I met on Facebook coordinated a group dinner before the show. I confidently took an Uber to Clifton, walked into the restaurant, and had one of the most fun nights I’ve had in a while.
Flashback to a 13-year-old me refusing to set foot inside a friend’s bat mitzvah because an overwhelming wave of social anxiety crashed over me.
Society tells us that becoming a mom can minimize us. For me, becoming a mother has empowered me with confidence and the ability to look at things from a different perspective.
Before having a child, I was “me, me, me.” Not in a spoiled way, but in an “everyone must be looking at me” way. I was insecure.
Now I know the truth: rarely is anyone really looking.
We’re all caught up in our own stuff that we really don’t care how someone dresses, cooks, decorates their home, etc. This revelation has been FREEING. I dress how I want to dress (leggings all day, every day), parent my own way (screentime breaks included), and make “me time” (exercising and just being alone occasionally) a priority. If someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem.
Another revelation: there is always an escape route.
I have anxiety. It’s manifested itself in many ways throughout the years, and for a long time, I was afraid to be in social situations. Especially if I didn’t know many people. Now I attend many social mom events by myself. Some are home runs and others are strikeouts, but I get my feet out the door by reminding myself that I can always leave. It’s a little easier to escape as an adult who can drive or request an Uber than it is as a tween. If my son has similar reservations about stepping out of his comfort zone, I’ll encourage him to try it out and reassure him that I’m only a phone call away.
Anyone with children has experienced the rush of time. It’s cliche to say it, but I feel like the fast forward button was pushed the day I gave birth. I’m trying my best to take it one day at a time. Some days are great and some are not so great. I could get down on myself on the “not so great days,” but I try to find the positive in each one and put it behind me.
This is a fact: there is no such thing as a perfect parent.
Unlike my pre-child years, I feel like I’m on an even playing field with my peers. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and the pressure I feel to be “the best” isn’t there anymore. I know I’m good enough.
