While I was pregnant with our first daughter, I remember thinking to myself that there should totally be a test or quiz for entering parenthood. I hate tests, and being in education, I am a firm believer that tests are not the best way to measure success. However, I was in need of something to tell me that I was going to do decent job at being a parent. I was not out to have the best score in the “parenting class”, which is usually my goal, I just wanted to be reassured that the knowledge & understanding I had on this very important subject was enough.
Throughout school we take tests and quizzes to measure our readiness to move on to the next grade level, why not have one for parents? Particularly a test or quiz after each stage: newborns, babies, toddlers, school age…you get the point. And yes, this means we will be taking tests forever. Kids are always kids in the eyes of a parent and we are always trying to figure them out. Just ask my mother!
I currently have a toddler and a preschooler, and recently I came across a quiz in Parents Magazine (2012), by Nicole Caccavo. It may not be the exact test or quiz that I had in mind, but I will tell you that it confirmed a very important point that we all need to keep in mind. There are no wrong answers in the world of parenting. We do things our own way because we know what is best for our kids. Even as we may feel like we are failing and deserve a “big fat F”, we do not!
The CMB team thought it would be fun to come up with our own version of the Mommy Midterm. Take our quiz below and give yourself that A that you have worked so hard for!
ONE
Finish this sentence: I only watch cartoons…
A. When the kids are watching
B. When I am so exhausted, I don’t realize it
C. When I can’t find the remote
D. When I want to know what Doc’s naming the new baby
TWO
According to your child, the best time to take a huge poo is…
A. When sound asleep
B. Immediately after getting a new diaper
C. In the Kroger check out line
D. All of the above
THREE
There are two people in your shower. Which combination of two people is it?
A. You and your husband.
B. You and your kiddo.
C. Both of your kiddos.
D. Your husband and a kiddo.
FOUR
How long after food lands on the floor can it be consumed?
A. Never, throw it away
B. 30 second rule
C. If I can remember when it first landed there
D. If it’s a Cheerio, forever
FIVE
What would you give up for consistent 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep?
A. Coffee
B. Sex
C. Chocolate
D. Wearing yoga pants for anything besides exercise
SIX
If your children could have a play date with celebrity children, who would it be?
A. Suri Cruise
B. Prince George and Princess Charlotte
C. Camden and Brooklyn Lachey
D. The Jolie-Pitt kids
E. I don’t care as long as it’s at their house and I get to sleep.
SEVEN
The hardest thing to clean off of hard wood floors is…
A. Bananas
B. Granola Bar
C. Diaper Cream
D. Vomit
EIGHT
Define the following word: Embarrassment
A. That feeling you get when your child tells her karate teacher that you were late because her Dad was pooping
B. Realizing that you are three quarters of the way through an important presentation at work and you have had peanut butter smeared on your shoulder the whole time
C. The feeling get when your child throws a tantrum in the middle of a crowded store
D. Embarrassment? Once you have birthed a baby in a room full of nursing students, medical staff and some of the grossest bodily fluids known to man, embarrassment ceases to exist.
NINE
Your child tells you they hate you for the fifth time today and it’s only 10am. The proper response is…
A. Calmly put him/her in time out until both of you have a chance to cool off
B. Turn up the volume on Daniel Tiger and wonder for the millionth time how Daniel’s mom is always so freakin’ calm.
C. Lock yourself in the bathroom and cry
D. A bottle of wine
TEN
Solve this problem.
M has a toy she has not played with in over 6 months because she has zero interest in it. Big sister N finds the toy and begins to use it in a pretend game she made up. M sees the toy and demands it back. N says “No”. M tells N that if she doesn’t give her the toy back then she will never play with her again. N says this is fine. M screams for her Mom. N screams for her Mom. Do you:
A. Allow N to keep the toy since she had it and M only wants it because N has it
B. Give the toy back to M, because it was hers initially
C. Take the toy away from both M and N
D. Wonder how play-doh got on your ceiling
BONUS QUESTION
Fill in the blank…
The best thing about being a mom is __________.
A. The snuggles
B. Watching them grow and learn
C. Bearing witness to those moments of awesomeness among the chaos
D. All of the above
