How many of you show up on Mother’s Day and feel the swirling emotions of comparison and expectation allowing it to hinder the fullness of celebration you experience?
This past year has been more of a portrait of things unmet than met, unknown than seen, and yet through the difficulties, a tribe of togetherness has risen up to say, I SEE YOU.
For those of you aching to be in this role and not experiencing it yet, I see you.
For those of you grieving the loss of your own mother and finding it difficult to celebrate, I see you.
For those of you in the trenches of hard motherhood and reaching for any semblance of rest, I see you.
For those of you building into adult children relationships, I see you.
For those of you struggling in your season with emotions dragging you deeper within, I see you.
Although I am writing these words of seeing you in your season, I understand that the way you feel it in the moments of your day is a different kind of place.
I hear it too often from women that Mother’s Day is a source of difficulty because “their people” did not create the kind of day they needed and it was more stressful than anything else. Either schedules are maxed out, thoughtful expressions were not received or grief is so loud any semblance of joy is difficult to muster.
I have celebrated 10 Mother’s Days in my mother role, and laid to rest my grandmothers in that time, and understand the difficulties of how grief and joy can be intermingled within this space of celebration together. I still pick up Mother’s Day cards and cry as I ache not being able to share in these moments together.
What if instead of waiting for your loved ones to know what your spirit needs on this day, you set your atmosphere for what you need and create a day that meets you best as you talk options out with your people?
Atmosphere Checklist Questionnaire:
- Is grief present that I am needing to tend to?
- Are there people I am wanting to celebrate with in-person?
- Is there an opportunity to move which day the celebration happens?
- Am I seeking rest and a low schedule or movement of adventure and new activity?
- Do I want to be in town or wanting to pursue a getaway?
- Do I have traditions that are important on this day or new ones to create?
As you navigate the process of where you are emotionally, this will help you identify the way to set your atmosphere for Mother’s Day with intention and with grace.
Setting the Atmosphere:
- Identify what type of movement is needed in the day:
- If you are needing to be in-person with your people, does it help connect to where you are emotionally to do it on a different day that weekend or on actual Mother’s Day?
- Are you needing introverted space to process the grief and need to do it in a different way?
- Set the boundaries with your people as you communicate what you are choosing to do.
- Are there types of food or experiences you are wanting to plan for that day?
If you are wanting that homemade breakfast in bed, it’s ok to ask for it.
If you are wanting kitchen alone time to make breakfast or a meal for someone else, it’s ok to plan it.
If you are wanting alone time to walk and breathe outside or sit in a quiet home reading, ask for it.
If you are wanting a weekend getaway, organize it.
If you do not want to be distracted by comparison, it’s ok to log off social media.
You can still receive thoughtful touches from your people as you set the atmosphere because it is about extending connection to what’s needed in your season with authenticity and with presence.
This is UNIQUE to YOU. It is tending to you and your community with awareness of the story.
Whatever chapter you are in right now, I’d love to hear what atmosphere you choose this Mother’s Day?