Just before Christmas, I got a text that made me look twice from a local secondhand children’s store. It read something like: “The Perfect Mom Gift: gift cards are perfect for the new mom, working mom, single mom, stay-at-home mom, boy mom, girl mom, ANY MOM!” And then I thought, of course, I love to spoil my kids but since when did clothing a child equal a splurge for the mom?
Does society view the mom and the child as one and the same person?
During pregnancy, we are one. After the birth, during the nursing/cuddling/babies-smell-so-good phase, we are pretty much one. But eventually, babies wean and don’t want to hug you as much and eventually I do want to go back to getting new boots for Christmas and not gift cards for my child-uhh-for me-uhh-for us…
Remember watching Father of the Bride (the original!) when Annie is getting married and her new husband gives her a blender and she flips out? She says, “What is this, the 50’s? Give the little wife a blender?!” to which I say, “What is this, 2018?! Give the little wife a coupon for used 3t T-shirts?!”
But the scary part is, I would love a gift card to that store.
Because spoiling my kids with extra dino t-shirts does in fact, make me happy. So the results are inconclusive.
I am my child. And I am myself, separate from my child. And I will battle to balance that dichotomy for the rest our lives.