I Am Not My Child


Just before Christmas, I got a text that made me look twice from a local secondhand children’s store. It read something like: “The Perfect Mom Gift: gift cards are perfect for the new mom, working mom, single mom, stay-at-home mom, boy mom, girl mom, ANY MOM!” And then I thought, of course, I love to spoil my kids but since when did clothing a child equal a splurge for the mom?

Does society view the mom and the child as one and the same person?

During pregnancy, we are one. After the birth, during the nursing/cuddling/babies-smell-so-good phase, we are pretty much one. But eventually, babies wean and don’t want to hug you as much and eventually I do want to go back to getting new boots for Christmas and not gift cards for my child-uhh-for me-uhh-for us…

Remember watching Father of the Bride (the original!) when Annie is getting married and her new husband gives her a blender and she flips out? She says, “What is this, the 50’s? Give the little wife a blender?!” to which I say, “What is this, 2018?! Give the little wife a coupon for used 3t T-shirts?!” 

But the scary part is, I would love a gift card to that store.

Because spoiling my kids with extra dino t-shirts does in fact, make me happy. So the results are inconclusive.

I am my child. And I am myself, separate from my child. And I will battle to balance that dichotomy for the rest our lives. 


  1. The author is upset about a marketing message and yet, she confirms that she actually does like doing what the marketing is promoting? Not all marketing is targeted to or will apply to every single person. It doesn’t make anyone less of an individual.


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