Before all the COVID fears and quarantine, I was busy. I mean, BUSY. I ran a successful business, was full-time caring for my 3-year-old, and ran my household. We were on the go nearly every day of the week; shopping, going to fun places like the zoo and running errands. I felt like my life was one non-stop adventure. I thought I loved the fast pace of our life.
Then, everything screeched to a halt in March.
As a high-risk individual, I chose to fully quarantine as soon as the state announced the possibility. No more fun outings, no more errands, no more working with clients in their homes. My business basically halted, too, as the work I do hinges on being with people.
At first, I was panicked. What the heck was I supposed to do all day long, every day, at home? It brought back the fears and feelings of being trapped that I experienced during the immediate postpartum period. I felt myself starting to fall into the black hole that I was in then.
But then, I realized I could sit and read. I could start all the books I had downloaded to my Kindle but told myself I “didn’t have time” to read. I could restart practicing yoga.
I also realized I could take the time to evaluate some things. I began to look at my daily routine and alter it to make sense for me and my family. I scheduled alone time into my day; early morning yoga and meditation, and evening baths while my daughter and partner played together.
I looked at the things in my home and started getting rid of stuff. It has been GLORIOUS. Selling unused items, cleaning out spaces that were gathering junk, seeing those things go to other people that will use them.
I created a special space for myself in a room that was previously a junk space. I reorganized my daughter’s toys so I could better rotate them in and out. I simplified EVERYTHING.
And now, nearly four months into it, I am peaceful. My life has slowed down and I love it. I get time every day with my daughter, just being. I have scheduled time for my work so I’m not taking calls and answering emails whenever they come (#selfemployed). I have time every day for myself, which is so vital to my own mental health and spiritual growth.
In essence, I’m owning quarantine.
Now, I acknowledge that this experience hasn’t been possible for everyone. I have some privilege that has allowed me to have this; my partner is still working full time, with little effect on his day-to-day (he has been working from home since before the pandemic); my business, while slowed, is still ok; and I feel supported and healthy enough that I can focus on these things. I realize that others don’t have this opportunity. I’m grateful that I have experienced this.
I’m also grateful for being forced to slow down in this quarantine because it has been the best thing for me.
