If there’s one thing I feel we moms could be more prepped for – it’s how redundant motherhood really is. We are given books upon books about pregnancy, birth and raising kids, but never once do I remember reading about just how monotonous and redundant it can feel to be a mom. And, it’s this redundancy that truly makes me feel I’m losing it. Let me explain.
Your name.
It will be repeated a least a zillion times by the time your children turn 5. At least that’s what it will feel like. Forget putting a nickel in a jar – I’d take pennies at this point. While it comes in many forms (mom, mommy, mama, ma, etc.), it can sometimes feel like nails on a chalkboard. I find it especially frustrating when my kids will say it over and over without even pausing for me to respond.
The dishes.
It seems the moment you have the dishwasher loaded, it’s time to fill it again. No matter how good you are at staying on top of it, from the moment they’re born and you’re washing pump parts to the growth spurts, and especially if you choose to make your own baby food, there is a never-ending trail of dishes to clean and wash. But don’t worry – there are cups now that have five parts to sanitize – there’s no sense feeling done. And, it’s the same for the laundry, the groceries and the other mundane chores you have sadly.
Cleaning literally ANY room in your house.
Yes, once you’re done with a room, and move on to the next, just go ahead and expect the previous room to be your children’s next target. The redundancy of picking up the same clothes, the same toys, the same blankets, the same pillows off the floor is exhausting. No matter how many containers I label, it’s never-ending.
The advice.
You aren’t asking for it. But, no matter what choices you make as a parent, there’s a whole pile of people who do it differently, and especially those in the generation ahead of you who’ve “done this before, so they know better.” Yeah, thanks for sharing. I have a set of spontaneous twins, so I also get the redundant questions of “Were they conceived naturally?” or “Do they run in the family” everywhere we go. Cloth diapers or disposable, breastmilk or formula, screen time or no – take your pick, you’re wrong, they’re right, and just learn to let it go.
While this may seem like a downer of a message, I really just want to keep things real. Motherhood isn’t all the glowing moments you see on TV shows. It’s redundant. And really, really hard. But, I find myself having to take a pause and reflect on what’s going on every so often as the redundancy can sometimes blur the moments as they’re happening. In my case, with my twins, I have no idea how we are suddenly potty-trained. We were working on it, and then all of a sudden we are done. Something that felt like it was taking forever to accomplish is suddenly over – and it’s glorious. No more diapers/pull-ups, nearly no accidents, and it is so darn freeing. But also frightening to think of how fast time flies and I must remember to embrace the little annoyances as they come, as they are fleeting.
So, what’s my advice?
Don’t lose yourself in the redundancy, mama. It’s impossible to keep up, so take a pause every so often to just notice what’s going on and all that you’ve accomplished making these little humans.
