How to Rock Your Crown of a Different Color

“No one’s is brighter, no one’s is duller. It’s only a crown of a different color.”

This guidance from the middle of Nancy Tillman’s The Crown on Your Head stuck with me long after storytime with my son. While written for children, these words serve as a simple, yet profound reminder for us as women and moms.

Despite my best efforts, I am guilty of weaving webs of comparison. I build myself up when my crown feels polished (“I wouldn’t do that as a parent”). More often, I tear myself down when my crown feels lackluster and inadequate amongst its peers.

Comparison tells us the lie that we can’t all be doing well because someone is always better or worse. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Too often, I allow my joy to be pilfered, at no one’s fault but my own.

We are bombarded with messages every day that show us how we can better our appearance, better our house, better our kids, better our wardrobe – wear a brighter crown.

What if, instead of better or brighter, worse or duller, we are simply different?

Let’s challenge ourselves to:

Put away our measuring sticks on the playground, at school pickup, at work, on social media, or when simply looking in the mirror.

Instill in our kids that, yes, others may be more skilled and, no, everyone doesn’t earn a trophy. But that doesn’t make you less worthy as a person.

Teach our kids that celebrity and notoriety take a back seat to being yourself and being kind.

Say “good for her” and actually mean it – be a cheerleader for your fellow mom. Look for commonalities and respect your differences.

Be grateful for what we have in front of us instead of yearning for what we don’t possess.

That last one – gratitude – can be a game-changer. One of my favorite authors, Laurie Polich Short, said this in her book When Changing Nothing Changes Everything:

“The discipline of giving thanks is the antidote to our wandering eyes.”

When we value who we are, as we are, and recognize the bounty we already have, we can begin to tune out the rest.

Let’s rock the crowns we wear without sitting in the shadow of anyone else’s brightness.