I believe that at one point or another every mom has asked herself, when will I feel a little bit more like a woman or even like a slightly more functional human being?
For most of us, it happens at the beginning of motherhood, during the newborn stage. Everything is so new and things change drastically during this time that I believe we jump right into mom mode while at the same time, trying to remember who we were before the precious little one arrived in this world.
I recently gave birth to twins, which is why this is all fresh in my mind. I now have a three-year-old, a two-month-old girl and a two-month-old boy. For those of you who have been here before, you know how it goes: sleep deprivation, the new baby gear, hormones affecting your body, the endless feedings, the cute outfits and the precious snuggles.
It’s all crazy and beautiful at the same time. But in the effort of sharing what helps me through the not-so-easy times, I was able to put a simple list of things I do to try to take care of myself:
Accept help – Accepting help doesn’t come easy to me. If you are like me, let me tell you right now that you need to let that go. This is not the time to prove to yourself or anyone else that you can do it on your own. This is the time to humble yourself and accept any help from the people around you who want to lovingly give it to you. We have accepted help from grandparents, meals from friends, hand-me-downs from relatives, words of encouragement from strangers, and prayers from anyone willing to pray for us and our family. Every little bit helps so please do not say no to help!
Have a good chat – I am an extrovert and during those first few months with a new baby, I crave adult conversation. I also like to ask questions about things that might be happening that I have never experienced. One of the things that I believe can help a mom with a newborn is talking to others. It can be a family relative, your spouse, friends or even your doctor. If you need someone to talk to, please do so. Don’t stay quiet if you have questions or something to say!
Basic human needs – I am a huge believer that you need to take care of your physiological needs in order to “survive” new parenting. I always make sure I take a shower every day (even if it’s a three-minutes one), brush my teeth and wash my hair as often as needed. I know that for a lot of moms this might be a luxury or impossible, but for me, these are ways I take care of myself.
Go outside – Where we live, this one can be tricky depending on when you give birth, but I highly encourage leaving the house as often as you can and/or feel comfortable. When I had my oldest son, I sat on the same chair in our living room for most of the day for two straight weeks. It wasn’t until my husband came home and forced me to go out for a quick bite that I started feeling more like myself. I know it can be terrifying to leave the house with a newborn. It is for me with a “threenager” and twin newborns, but it is worth the effort if you get to see things outside of your home and have some interaction with others.
Pray – At the end of the day, good and bad times included, I am very grateful for my babies and wouldn’t change a single thing about it. I give thanks every day, multiple times during the day, for my children and all the blessings we have. At the same time, I also ask God to help me, to give me strength to do whatever it is that I need to do and to guard my kids’ bodies and heart. It is only through His strength that I make it every day.
I believe motherhood is a blessing, a big responsibility, and a privilege. The nights are long but the years are short. If you are reading this and it seems like you can’t even do one of the things above, please reach out to me. I would love to talk! If you have been through it and have any other ideas or suggestions, please leave a comment and share with us your “survival tips.”
