Feeling Sexy After Kids

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After a long day of feeling like you’ve taken care of the entire world and as your sanity is getting ready to bust at the sound of one more person saying your name or in your face… 

It becomes hard to feel sexy as a mom.

Heck, I’m still rocking the baby weight from my last kid and he’s getting ready to turn 4. How are we supposed to turn around and pretend that the family we created is not affecting our sexuality? I’m physically and mentally too exhausted to be the controlling dominatrix that sparked the fire of our relationship. So what do I do now when the spark has been put out by baby drool and toddler tears? 

The first thing I’ve done is find power in my flaws. For example, this body was gifted to me after children. It feels foreign still and so I still feel like I’m test driving it every time I put on an outfit that I used to feel confident in. A wise woman, when I was 8 months pregnant, once told me that, “Every woman has an asset, so accentuate yours.”

I laughed at the time because I was rocking my husband’s clothing and felt like I was going to burst out of them. What I didn’t realize then was I am still beautiful but in a new way. Always having pecs for breast before children, I am now blessed with a blossoming chest area that allows me to fill out different clothing than before. When you admit to the positive features instead of only looking for the ones you find unnecessary or disgusting, it allows you to make your physical sexiness become prominent in your appearance. People can see the confidence and vibe off of it. 

Secondly, I re-center my self every evening.

The sexiest thing about you is yourself.

So I shut down my mom mode and take a hot bath in the silence of the night with a candle lit, just for me. Not catering to anyone else. Before I romance someone else, momma has to take care of herself. Relax and release all of the stress of the day to a point that you remember your reasons for being here, the reasons you are worthwhile and incredible. Take time to think about you and not someone else. Take time to self appreciate mentally, and physically reward yourself. My guilty pleasure that always helps me feel my best is the aromatherapy line at Bath and Body Works. The stress relief and sleep baths and Body butters are truly bliss. 

Now, this may be enough for you, but sometimes… When I’m on a horrible hiatus of honing my sexual goddess within, I challenge myself to try something new. This week it’s going blonde. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, but yet something (anything) that you’ve always wanted to try. Whether that’s introducing something new in the bedroom with your spouse to just buying a new style of dress that you’ve never tried. Life is an adventure and there is nothing more sexy than diving head first into new experiences. 

Having children is a wonderful blessing that overtakes your entire entity. From one mom to another, keep it sexy Cincinnati.   

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Danielle was raised in the small town of Highland Heights KY. With influences from across the river she grew up with a passion for sports, the arts, Ballet, writing, hiking, and nutrition. She now resides in the city of Alexandria KY and looks towards the queen city for many of her resources in raising two well rounded little ones. Her marriage of eight years has blessed her with a little girl (7 years old) and a little boy (6 years old). She is currently a stay at home mother and is focused on improving routines for the the family's overall health. She aspires to be the person that other's can rely on and has learned many things about balancing that boundary of self care vs supporting others. Growth isn't just for the children and through her writing she shares her journey.

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