Every day my 5-year-old son comes home raving about his teacher. He tells me about all of the games they play together and dance parties they have in school. He loves going to school so much that mornings are usually a breeze because he loves waking up and going to see his teacher and his friends. I am so grateful that he has such a patient and kind role model to encourage him to make the right decisions and listen. She truly is the kindest and most incredible person. I could not ask for a more caring teacher to be the one influencing him every day.
Full disclosure though? I am a little jealous.
Lucas came home one day and said, “Mommy, I love my teacher.” He said it the way he does when he says that he loves me and his dad. I remember feeling a tinge of jealousy but overall just being happy and thankful that he enjoys school so much. He has made comments here and there that he wants to spend more time with her and wants her to come to dinner with us. He wants her to attend Christmas and birthdays and listens to every single thing she says.
I would be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t a little jealous. When I tell him something, I have to practically scream it before it sinks in. There have been several occasions that I worry that he thinks that I am just a mean mommy because I am always disciplining him. He is a very spunky boy. He is always hyper and has a hard time focusing and following the rules. I love my son more than words can express but there are nights when I can’t wait for him to go to school the next morning because he is driving me nuts. Then I feel horrible for feeling that way. How can I get a little jealous of his affection for his teacher and at the same time, I can’t wait to ship him off to school?
I try to be a very positive and upbeat Mom, Aunt, Wife, Daughter, ect. I know that I am the only one who can control my reactions. After saying the same thing over and over until finally, my son is listening, it can get really hard to not lose my temper and yell at him. I have been trying more and more to pick my battles so that way I am not always getting on him. We play together and goof around together but I still feel like I spend more time nagging than anything else. I sometimes get a little jealous that he gets to have fun with his teacher at school and then comes home to his mean mommy. I guess that I am still learning how to share him.
I only have two kids, she has over twenty. I am not just envious of my son’s affection for his teacher but also her ability to stay calm and collected. How is it that I can’t manage my two kids without yelling and she can handle an entire classroom so gracefully? She has all of these kids all morning and afternoon for hours at a time and she still can manage to stay calm and upbeat and teach them everything that they need to know. I have so much respect for her.
When my son comes home and isn’t acting right, sometimes I even use her as a tool and tell him that if he doesn’t pull it together, I am going to have to tell his teacher on him. He straightens up right away and begs me not to do that. I wish I had her ability to demand respect, I wish I had her sense of calm, I wish I had her ability to be so upbeat. I used to be bubbly all of the time but I feel like it has been beat out of me from time to time. I am mostly just tired now. She is able to be cheerful and mold their little minds into something positive and incredible.
I wish I had her strength, positivity, dedication, and patience. I am so thankful that she is in my son’s life. I am jealous of her because I wish I could be more like her. The world needs more people like her in it and I can’t express enough how grateful I am to have her in our lives. Now, I just need to learn from her, too, and try to be the best mom that I can be.
