We are living under the weight of an epidemic of having too much to do and not enough time. Being stressed, anxious and exhausted is the new normal. Many of us live with the mantra of, “I don’t have time for that.” But the truth is, we do have the time, we just choose to use it on other things. And if you truly don’t have the time, then perhaps you’ve needlessly made your life too full and busy.
Let’s be real, we spend our time how we want to.
Whether because we’re slaves to people’s expectations or we have feelings of insecurity, they are all our choices, and we have the freedom to do with our time what we feel is best. Every person in the history of the world has had the same amount of time in a day, and yet all of a sudden, it seems we aren’t able to accomplish our roles of wife and mother without being on the verge of a breakdown.
We can’t do it all. But we can do the things we need to do. We have enough time to do the things that need to be done, yet somehow many of our to-do lists never get finished. So what are we adding in our days that we don’t need to be? I’m not just talking about the obvious negative things like wasting time on our phone, procrastinating or getting off task and distracted with less pressing things (ack, I’m so guilty of these!). I’m talking about the good things – that book club, joining that new committee, volunteering for whatever, or even simply overcomplicating daily tasks.
Last year, I had started to feel like our schedule was filling up and we were always on the go, so I took a look at where we were off to all the time and why, as a stay at home mom, I felt so busy.
I realized I had added things into our schedule that may have had merit, but that I was willing to trade for a more peaceful lifestyle. The mindset I’ve decided to follow is that if I feel like if I’m not doing my best and reaching my full potential in my most basic roles as wife and mother, then I’ve got no business adding responsibilities to my plate. Each of us have different capacities and are in different seasons, so what we choose to put on our plates should take that into account.
A good comparison for how I think about using my time is with the way I use the space in my house. The less stuff I keep in my schedule, and in my home, the less time I have to spend keeping things on track and clean. I stress less, I get more done, and I have time to be aware of my own needs as well.
And though I know it’s harder to have our kids go without a perceived want or need than it is to withhold stuff from ourselves, eliminating some of these “extras” can make a big, positive impact on our daily lives. Kids don’t need multiple extracurricular activities to be a part of each season. Not only do we not have the time in our days to fulfill it, but we’re also not doing them a favor and “getting them ahead.” Research has proven that we’re actually doing our kids a disservice by overstimulating them with full schedules.
Which brings up another good reminder: just because we CAN do something, doesn’t mean we should. This is a sign of maturity in parenthood; not having anything to prove anything and being wise in accepting help when we need it. My advice? Swallow your pride and accept the help. This has given me so much freedom, even when I don’t take people up on the offer, just knowing that I can without feeling guilty has been a game changer.
A practical addition that has made me better at time management has been my Sunday Plan & Prep (yes, I named it – I love it that much).
I do this while my husband and I are watching TV at night, or sometimes in the afternoon when the girls are having quiet time. I meal plan for the week, go over the calendar for any appointments or events, and I write up my daily cleaning schedule. It’s been so helpful to start the week feeling ahead of the game.
In addition to Sunday Plan & Prep, I’ve added some other time savers to my routine. Nightly, I do a 20-minute cleanup so that I can wake up to a clean downstairs without dishes in the sink and toys all over the floor. I also set out mine and the girls’ clothes for the next morning. Why is it that it takes me 5 minutes to do this the night before but will take me 15-20 minutes if I wait until morning?
Oh, and toys. I straight up got rid of 75% of our toys, and my kids didn’t even notice! This immediately resulted in so much less clutter, and less time cleaning up. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I live a peaceful life. In some seasons this may change, but for the things that are under my domain, that are within my control, I’m going to make wise choices for me and my family.
