To All the Babies No One Knew…


BabiesTo all the parents who hold the secret of the babies they lost before anyone knew – I am so sorry.  You are not alone.

To all the babies no one knew…

There are so many of you. It seems that every time I turn around I’m hearing about you. Some of you were alive for moments, some for months, and some of you lived in the comfortable spot underneath your mamas heart for a full forty weeks only to leave her arms far too soon.  While we may not talk about you (because it’s hard and because it hurts) we can certainly talk to you.

So here’s what I’d like you to know sweet babies:

You are known. Before your mama and daddy even knew you existed, you were known. Your family imagined you, what you are like, whose smile you have, and whether or not you got your daddy’s eyes. You are a beautiful combination of the two of them, and through our tears we imagine you – even today.

You are loved. Whether we have seen you only in a picture or had the precious chance to hold you in our arms, we have fallen in love with you. The moment we found out you existed we saw a glimpse of the inexplicable love that God has for us – and for that we are forever grateful. Our lives are richer for knowing that love, even if only for a moment.

You are missed. We wish you were here because life was so sweet when you were. We wonder: are you comforted by our singing? Do you love music like your mama? How do you feel about spicy food? We wish we could hear your heartbeat just one more time, but even in its absence we know that there was no goodbye exchanged between us, just a see you later.

You have a purpose. Your life brings joy to the people who love you. It brings fear to the hearts of your parents – not the monster-under-the-bed kind of fear, the kind that makes you get serious about the stuff that matters. Your life brings excitement and we wonder what adventures you are enjoying these days. But most importantly, your life brings hope. You remind us that life is precious, that we only get a moment to matter, and you do.

You are. Many people speak about you in the past tense, but I’m grateful that I don’t have to. You know full-well that you are, and that you have been, from the moment of your creation. You know that your little heartbeat was required on this earth only and that when it stopped your forever began.

So there it is sweet babies: you are known. You are loved and missed more than we can explain. You matter to us, today and always. We don’t wonder if we’ll know you when we see you again, because you are ours.  We’ll see you soon precious ones.  Until then, we’re counting the days.


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