Before I became a mom, I was a teacher. I taught mainly preschool, but kindergarten and 1st grade as well. I didn’t assume I would be an amazing mom who knew it all, but I did think that I would have a pretty decent handle on parenting. After all, child development and psychology were part of my job. I had 5 years of teaching little kids under my belt. I actually looked forward to having preschool aged kids. I love love LOVED teaching 3 and 4 year olds. How bad could having some of my own be?
Fast forward to being a mom of a 2 and 3.5 year old. While having the coursework and early childhood teaching experience helps, it has also confused my life as a mom. Despite what I want to think, I don’t know it all. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t always stay in cool as a cucumber teacher mode. I’m with these kids 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK.
I know what “best practices” are when it comes to disciplining and child development guidance, but I don’t always practice what I t(pr)each. I give consequences that don’t always make sense. Although I don’t call it time out, I send them to their room (I never used “time out” as a teacher and that’s one rule I do stick with at home). I don’t always give them choices that have desired outcomes. I bribe them instead of push for intrinsic rewards. I say “No” and “Don’t” instead of using positive reinforcement. I ask “why” knowing their little brains have no idea why. I give empty praise when I can’t think of something meaningful to say. I even yell and throw tantrums when all else fails. Gulp. Sometimes I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde because I want to be the calm nurturing teacher, but sometimes the sleep deprived stressed out mom who has a million things to do takes over. The struggle is real, folks.
Sometimes I manage to say what my teacher-self would say. Sometimes not. Maybe you can relate even if you’re not a teacher. Either way, know that you’re doing your best as am I and hopefully looking back, we can laugh at some of the absurd things we say as parents. Here are some examples of things I may or may not have said as a teacher mom;)
Kids are fighting over something, kid hits kid. Hit kids runs to tell mommy.
Teacher: Let’s talk about this all together. What happened? What did you do before she hit you? What made you want to hit your sister?
Mom: Guys! Stop fighting! If she hits you again, hit her back.
Kids have taken all the toys and all the clothes from their drawers and put them in the laundry baskets which are now dumped out on the living room floor.
Teacher: Wow! I love your curiosity and what you’ve done here. What are you making? What can we do with these piles? I know! Let’s sort them. How should we sort them into groups?
Mom: WHAT are you doing?! You guys made a mess! Clean this up, put everything back or no TV.
Kid is about to dump bowl of cereal on the table.
Teacher: Remember what we talked about, keep the bowl on the table and use your spoon to eat.
Mom: STOP! DO NOT dump your cereal out or you’ll eat nothing.
Kid doesn’t want to come inside for bedtime after playing and no nap.
Teacher: I can see you’re frustrated and want to keep playing. I’m going to set the timer for 5 minutes. You will have 5 more minutes of playtime and then it’s time to go inside.
Mom: Picks crying child up and goes inside. If you keep crying, you don’t get a bedtime show.
Kid doesn’t want to brush their teeth.
Teacher: Let’s read about what happens when you don’t brush your teeth. Then, you get to choose which toothbrush and toothpaste to use!
Mom: I’ve already asked you nicely. Now, brush your teeth or they’ll turn black and fall out and you won’t get any more treats ever again.
Kids won’t get in their car seat.
Teacher: Let’s play a game! Who can get in their car seat first? Who wants to be the winner winner chicken dinner?
Mom: Get in your car seat and I’ll give you a gummie.
Kid asks to read the longest story known to man at bedtime after a long day of everything going wrong.
Teacher: Let’s look at the pictures first. What do you think this is about? Let’s make a prediction. What do you think is going to happen to the main character?
Mom: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Goldilocks. She didn’t listen to her mom and got lost. Her mom found her and they lived happily ever after. The end. Now, go to sleep.
What are some things you may or may not have said dealing with your toddlers and preschoolers?
