I am over reality TV. I had my fill with “The Real World” and back when Simon and Paula were on “American Idol”. I can’t tell you who won “The Bachelor” (is it still on?) or which Kardashian is currently pregnant. But, there are days I wish we had our own camera crew following us around. Not because of the pending fame or designer clothing I would receive, but because of my babies. My little babies who are growing up way too fast.
My children are 18 months apart, two and a half and just past one. As the little one grows into a toddler, my son is quickly turning into an actual kid, complete with opinions and personality. I’ve blinked and our world has yet again changed. There are days I yearn for newborn snuggles and there are days I start to count the seconds until we are finished with diapers. But especially recently, my heart has been aching thinking about how fast time is passing us by.
I am fully aware that each stage of a child’s life is different, unique and exciting in it’s own way. I know we have friendships, sports, dance recitals and family adventures to look forward to. But even knowing this, I can’t shake the feeling that I may forget. What if I can’t remember the way my baby girl growls at everything or how my son will stop everything to play in a random dirt pile. Perhaps that’s why I blog and take thousands of pictures and videos. I fear that these memories will fade.
My favorite memento from our wedding day is the video. We had an amazing videographer who captured the day and compiled it in a way that we will never forget the magic and love of those moments. So couldn’t our own reality show do the same thing? If I had a lot more money than I do and could hire a videographer to follow us around, wouldn’t that solve my fear? Maybe. But that’s not going to happen.
So how do we do it? How do we get rid of that ache when we realize their sweet kisses and voices won’t last? I don’t know if that’s completely possible, but I know I am going to try and soak them in as much as possible. I’m also going to remember that our relationships will change and grow and I will only get to know them better. One day, as they hold their babies in their arms, I will tell them what it was like when they were born. How my heart didn’t think it could grow any bigger and how their faces were the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. This circle of life is in place for a reason and as much as we want to remember the past, we have to look forward to the future. And even if my mind some day forgets these moments, my heart will always remember.
