Am I the only one who has experienced the humiliation that is….GULP…Facebook Memories?? I’m not talking about those sweet pictures of your newborn. I’m talking about that weird status from High School that was weirdly vague but intriguing enough to garner attention from your nosy peers? Maybe you stumbled upon that icky open you shared to the world about your recent heartbreak, and shuddered from your core. I really wish I would have left these sentiments in some sort of personal diary. I’ve resorted to deleting a lot of these “memories,” but honestly most of them were pretty innocuous and harmless. This does lead me to advise you to be careful, dear parents, what you post.
I’m sure many of us have some regrets when we have shared one thing or another, but there is something I am seeing in the world of social media that may not be crossing people’s minds when they decide to share to the world. Parents, I implore you to take a moment to think about possible implications if your post or video has anything to do with your children.
I’m not asking that parents only share the rainbows and butterflies, but I do fear for the children who grow up with over-sharing parents who choose to clout-chase instead of pondering how dignified their post is. For example, I came across a post the other day of an expectant father who was clearly unhappy that he was having a fourth child. Now, it may have been meant as a funny gag or a joke, but this viral video is now out there for the child to process, eventually. It’s not abnormal to feel fear or even sadness about a pregnancy, but to share your disdain so publicly feels like a joke about being unwanted is a little personal.
There are many, many times I stumble onto random accounts on social media and see parents sharing embarrassing or hurtful things about children. Though many of them may be too young to remember the incident, they will grow up to see and process these clips – often unfiltered messages from their parents with a comment sections to match. Not to mention, the amount of trolling that occurs.
I am not at all prepared to walk through the technology age with my kids. Heck, I have trouble creating limits and boundaries myself. However, I do want my kids to feel dignified and loved in the way they are portrayed by me online. Some parents have chosen to keep their children out of social media, and I can’t say I blame them. As my kids grow older, I post about them less and less and often ask permission of my 5-year-old to post any photo she is in (and I make sure it’s positive and simple).
I don’t have all of the answers, but I do know that words matter. I know our children see and process what they hear from us. I know that they long for our love and a sense of belonging. They desire to trust and have that trust reciprocated. It may seem very innocent to post a revealing, embarrassing, or crass story about your child online, but they may one day look back and have feelings about it. I have a feeling there will be many children one day sitting in a therapist’s office, processing through how their parents posted that status or picture or reel as a nod towards them in their younger years.
What are your thoughts? Do you think leaving an online trail for your child to discover has potential to hurt, or is this a gross exaggeration? Do you have rules about what you post in regards to your children? I would love to know. This is new territory for the modern parent.
