Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you were completely shocked. Either way, breaking up is hard to do.
I spent six months with what I believed to be the love of my life – we got engaged and it didn’t end up working out. I have spent the last few weeks reflecting on the relationship and trying to heal, but ultimately, I had to grieve the loss of the relationship. One day at a time.
It wasn’t an unkind break-up; however, I still feel lousy.
Am I the problem? Was he? These answers don’t come easy, nor is there ever a very clear answer. All I know is the pain from the loss of what I thought was MY person in my life has stayed with me and I don’t know how I am ever going to feel complete again.
Being alone after being with someone who was there for every victory or loss is probably the most difficult thing. Who will I celebrate with? Who will be a shoulder to cry on? Most of us have friends and family to comfort us during these times, but for some reason, it doesn’t always feel the same. With the hustle and bustle of life, it is always nice to come home to someone, cuddle, and make you feel seen.
I have found that in the last few weeks, I will need to do that for myself.
I will need to get up each morning and realize that there is more to life worth living than having a relationship. I’ve got kids, a job, I am going back to school, and other things to keep me busy. But at the end of the night, I feel it deeply. The knowing that I will go to sleep by myself only to wake up and do it all over again.
I have faith that time heals. What feels like a huge disappointment today will eventually become a distant memory.
In the meantime, I will give myself grace. Time to grieve. Time to experience life alone again. It is a perfect time to reinvent myself as a single lady. Who will I become without the distraction of a relationship? What new experiences will I get from this? And most importantly, what did I learn about myself through this process and how can I use it to better my changes for a long-lasting relationship in the future?
If you’re going through a breakup, know you are not alone. We all experience heartache in some capacity so be kind to others because you never know what they are truly going through.
