I’m a lifelong Dave Matthews Band fan. The band formed when I was just 8 and I have seen them at least every other year since they started touring through Cincinnati in 1995 (I grew up minutes from Riverbend, and “back in my day,” my parents didn’t fear dropping a group of us middle schoolers/high schoolers off to see a show – what a different world!).
I share this because yes, I may be biased and slanted to like his music anyway, but his most recent album has several tracks that literally stopped me in mine. The album’s title and accompanying song, Come Tomorrow, gives advice to “let the children lead the way,” which has me seeing many current events (and potential solutions) through a different lens. The song, which he reportedly finished writing shortly after the Stoneman Douglas school shooting happened, addresses real topics like our troubled world and gun violence (Dave has lost a sister to gun violence), seeing how important it is to get the kids into the conversation. I challenge you to not reflect on your own views upon reading or listening to the song:
“Old man spat and cursed as he spoke
It’s all going to hell and the whole world is broken
Little kid is busy making plans
Save the whole world along with that old man
It’s far as I can see
A better way for you and me
Is to let the children run the show
Not too long and we’d be good to go
All the girls and boys would sing
Come tomorrow we get everything
So as long as we survive today
Come tomorrow, we’re gonna find a way
Yeah, as far as I can see
We should let the children lead the way“
Songwriters: David John Matthews / Mark Christopher Batson
Now, I don’t watch or listen to the news anymore – it makes me all too sad and furious because of the state of things. The world I grew up only included bomb threats as the biggest concern, and mostly, these were just that – threats. Our kids now deal with very real threats. And part of this concern comes from the drills we put them through. My 6-year-old son learned why every classroom in his building has a door to the outside and knows the safe places to hide in his building, telling me once that it was his job to “help the little kids out since he was now a first grader.” I struggle feeling like we’re forcing our children to grow up too fast, but deep down I know he’s a helper, as Mr. Rogers would call it.
As a mom, I’m hoping to be a part of this conversation, but with the input of our kids. As Dave has in his lyrics, “we should let the children lead the way.” To me, this means getting to know them on a better level, spending more time to learn about why the mental health needs have grown so much, and finding out who the kids are that could use that extra connection. But this also means changing the workplace. Allowing flexibility for parents to be where they need to be. Helping students to transition from a potentially-high touch educational system to the workplace, which can be standoff-ish at best. Our communities need to be more of just that – a place where people can come together and be together, with our children in the lead.
To start, I’m making it a point to talk with my son daily about how his day was. How he felt in different situations. Offering to answer his questions. Being available. In our rushed worlds, we must take the time to slow down and simply ask. And if this calls to you, or if you find yourself in a situation to make change – band together and continue the conversation. Mental health is affecting our youth, and knowing where they are and how they see solutions to fix it means we can be lead to a better place for all. Children can lead when given a chance, and often to a place without limits, barriers or other “sensical” things holding them back. We’ll never get past this until enough of us dig in and get in the mud of it. Thoughts and prayers are no longer enough.
