To be fair, I can’t completely blame my hot mess mom status on having kids. I’ve always been “entropic.” Prone to chaos, I’ve always taken it in stride. I’ve never been known as the best housekeeper, but it was definitely manageable to keep up. Now with two active toddlers, we’ve darn near given up. I’ve always said I need a T-shirt that says, “Hot (Mess) Mom” on it.
Even though I struggle with depression and anxiety (which no doubt contributes to the hot mess factor), I like to think of myself as a bit tongue-in-cheek, light-hearted, and able to poke fun at myself.
Are you a hot mess mom, too? Read on to find out!
- You don’t make plans (too far) ahead of time. Because you just never know how the day is going to go with little ones or how you’ll be feeling, it’s hard to commit to things. Unless it’s something that is already on your weekly calendar, it usually won’t get penciled in more than a day or two ahead of time at most.
- You’re often running late. This one is the tell-tale sign of a hot mess mom. No matter how early you start getting everyone ready, you’re almost always behind schedule. Or if you do happen to arrive on time (or dare I say early!), you’ve usually forgotten something important.
- Your morning routine is *very* low maintenance. You push snooze as long as you can, or if you’re like me, you don’t even use an alarm clock anymore, because hello, kids! Getting out of bed is often a struggle, so good thing you’ve embraced the natural look! Brush your teeth, slather on some moisturizer with SPF, (if you’re feeling extra fancy, put on some mascara), slick on some chapstick or tinted lip balm, let your hair air dry to achieve natural curls/waves, throw on some mom jeans (yes, I still wear skinny jeans!) and your favorite mom t-shirt, and voila! You are good to go! Now just make sure the kids look cute because let’s be honest, that’s who everyone’s looking at anyway. Am I right?!
- You can’t find what you need when you need it. This one is killer! You’re always running around last minute trying to find that other shoe. Why is there always only one shoe in a pair?! It might have a little bit to do with toddlers who are obsessed with carrying shoes around 😉
- You’re surprisingly okay with winging it. There’s usually too much chaos to fully prepare for anything, so you’ve learned to just bravely plow ahead with whatever vague plan you’ve mustered up. Doing something is better than doing nothing at all.
- You’re often running on empty. The chaos involved with being a hot mess mom is incredibly draaaaaaining. Your mental energy is constantly taxed due to being overwhelmed and overstimulated. There have been studies though that have shown that people who are messy are actually *ahem* more intelligent.
- You know your limits and plan accordingly. You don’t plan several activities in one day because you’ve learned to be honest with yourself and just know it’s too much effort to plan and prepare for too much all at once. Are there other introvert hot mess moms out there? Just me?
- You take time to get as organized as you can ahead of time because $#&* happens. You pack the bags ahead of time (sometimes), you pick out the outfits the night before (or maybe right when you wake up.) You know something will always happen – someone will pour out a whole jug of milk or break a lamp (see #1 and #2).
- You drink (a lot) of coffee. Have I mentioned how exhausting being a hot mess mom is yet?!
- You are constantly trying to improve yourself. You read all the things, all the blog posts, all the self-help books. You watch the minimalists, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. You join all the decluttering groups on Facebook, buy all the courses to teach you how to organize. You chip away at it sloooooowly. You pray a lot. You go to therapy, virtually (in your PJs).
- You have become very forgiving of yourself and empathetic towards other moms. Even if you aren’t compassionate toward yourself, you are toward other moms. You’ve been there and you get it. This mothering gig is tough. It’s hard to maintain a home and keep tiny humans from accidentally killing themselves. Other moms find you to be a welcoming presence in their lives, inviting them to be their true selves and not have to cover up and hide the mess.