Letter to Both My Daughter’s Dads


One of you was ready for fatherhood when your little girl came into your life and the other was not. But, you’re both dads.

To her first daddy, it took you a while to become the dad you needed to be, but you put the work in, and you have grown into a wonderful father.

She is lucky to have you, and she knows how much she is loved by you. You also have instilled in her the belief that a healthy “fear” of all her parents is a good thing for her, and she is embracing that respect for all of us. You have evolved into a much better communicator and have embraced the responsibility of parenthood.

You have also brought an incredible woman into her life this past year that will give her even more love and another excellent female role model. You have become a true partner in this parenting journey between two households, and we are raising a healthy and balanced young lady as such. Thank you for being willing to put your daughter first and to continually invest in her development as a team with us. You are very much appreciated.

To her daddy whose heart was stolen by her in her toddler years, thank you for loving us girls enough to take on a kid who was not yours by blood. 

While her first daddy struggled those early years, you were there to give her stability, love, and the guidance she needed from a father. You dealt with her having a rough time sharing me with you at first, with child support cases and rough early times, and with the challenges that come with split households. You were the one to make sure she came first before any of us adults.

You were the one to encourage open communication about all things baby girl-related between the three of us. You were the one to stand by us through everything and be our strongest supporter and rock. We are two of the most blessed ladies in the world to have you put up with all our nonsense all day, every day. We love you more than anything.

Not all dads come in the traditional way. Not all dads are born ready to be dads.  Sometimes, we ladies are not the best judges of whom we make babies with, but if we choose to keep our kids first, then they will turn out all right.

Families come in all shapes and sizes, and a kid can grow up nice and stable even in the most unconventional circumstances. As long as there is love and consistency for them, they will be just fine.

I’ll share in another post all about my own family situation I grew up in, but I turned out just fine (just don’t ask my husband to cosign on that hypothesis 😉)! Any of you have alternative family structures that you’ve learned to embrace?


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here